Thursday, October 7, 2010

Where have all the flowers gone?

It was a little late in the year, but we decided to go ahead and make use of the $200 grant from Montgomery County to improve the looks of our offices on Riverview Ave. Betsy had worked very hard to get that grant for us before she left, and we all felt that we could all do with a few flowers around the place. So Phil took the paperwork over to the North Dayton Garden Center where the people there enthusiastically helped him pick out just the right varieties to give our home a cheery, comfortable look. North Dayton Garden Center, located on Brandt Pike here in Dayton, by the way, is a family owned business and has been for 47 years. Anyway, Phil pulled into the driveway with the van loaded with plants. There were something like 60 pansies and 20 sedum plants and two mums. The dads stayed at the Garden center

The next day, Phil set to work preparing the area we had set aside for the garden. This involved stripping the grass from part of the area and then loosening the soil so it could be worked. He was sweaty and smelly afterward and no one really wanted to be around him for very long.

It took a couple more days before the weather allowed him to actually begin the actual planting, and, once started, it took almost a full day. This time Phil turned out sweaty, smelly and dirty and no one wanted to be around him then, either.

Everything was coming up roses – or rather, pansies – when disaster struck!

In all of the 89 years DXC has been a part of the Dayton Community, never was such a heinous crime committed! Over night – over night, mind you – DXC was viciously vandalized!

While we can’t be entirely sure, we strongly suspect the notorious and dreaded Varmint Gang – led by their ruthless Boss, Stoney “Smokes” Raccoon. An image captured on our closed circuit security camera (see below) would seem to back that up, although the faces are hidden. But it appears that not only Smokes, but his lieutenant, Bunny Hopp, and gang enforcer “Big Harry” Deal were the culprits.

This group of career criminals – well known for their sneak attacks on defenseless vegetation – swooped down on the freshly planted

As you can see, nearly every single blossom in the garden was cruelly ripped off and . . . well, heaven knows what horrible thing befell them.

All that was left were the eight plants that decorate our sign out front and the sedum. The Police suppose the street light out front deterred the vandals from completing their nefarious deed.

The police, of course, interviewed the gang member – shown below – and, as expected, they denied all knowledge of the crime.

“Youse ain’t got nuttin’ on me, coppers,” Raccoon said between puffs.

Hopp chimed in as well:

“Dis is a bum rap. I don’t even like no pansies!”

Deals refused to say anything without his lawyer being present.

We have uncovered mug shots of the gang (below) and if you see them in your neighborhood, please shoo them away immediately.

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